Little Debbie ain't nothin' but ho-ho's and tricks!

I do the same thing with my little Debbie. Whether it's the Ho-Ho's, the Zebra Cakes, the Swiss Cake Rolls, or the Oatmeal Cream Pies, I always eat the edges first and save the middle for the very last larger-than-normal bite. And I will go so far as to say that anyone who doesn't eat theirs like that is demeaning the pastry! Sure, you could argue that if you eat in moderate regular bites, you are preserving the taste and drawing it out. But listen, I've talked to little Debbie, and she ain't tryin' to hear that. Every bite of the dessert is supposed to build up in preparation for the last bite. It's sort of like a well-written play. The first bite gives you the exposition. It's just enough to let you know what's going on without giving too much away. The bites after that are all forwards, leading you up to the final bite, filled with cream, which is the climax of the experience. Finally, as you are licking your fingers, you come to your resolution and leave thinking about what you have just witnessed, wanting to change the world. And, a side note, what happened to the double decker oatmeal cream pies?!?!?! Someone owes dues...